Escape the stereotype
WRITTEN by JESS FERRELL
Hiya everyone, and welcome to my first blog! We are so excited to introduce this new way of building the HealthMary community, and the team will be sharing our personal stories, tips and advice for those who are interested in reading…
Today I wanted to talk about the life that is expected of us vs what our hearts really desire. We touched upon this topic in a recent radio show - and as a Gen Z, I have found these paths difficult to navigate (as I am sure everyone has at some point in life!) Whether you are my age, just out of sixth form or in your 10th job that you don’t like, this applies to everyone - because it’s never too late to change the path you are to fulfill your happiness.
Growing up, it was expected that you go to primary school, then secondary school, sixth form or college, apply to university and join a 9 to 5 that you stay in until you retire. Now there is nothing wrong with that at all, in fact, many people are fulfilled and happy with this way of life and that’s great. The problem is though, that everyone is different. Everyone has different priorities, different dreams, and the reality is, this ‘expected’ way of life does not fulfill everyone, and I don’t know why it has become the ‘expected’.
Believe it or not, I was meant to go to a University in London to study Fashion PR (completely different to what I am doing now!) I thought it was what I wanted to do because I had only been told about uni from a young age at school. And then we had our career meetings and the conversation wasn’t “What path do you want to take after sixth form?” it was “What university can we get you into after sixth form?” So I did what was expected, and I applied for something I had somewhat an interest in. Then, lo and behold, covid struck - and we were forced inside for weeks on end to sit with ourselves and our thoughts. This was difficult for everyone for different reasons. For me, I found it hard because my brain is so busy - I am constantly talking or thinking about the next thing. Sitting by myself, with no one to talk to or validate me apart from myself seemed like my worst nightmare.
Who would've thought that would be the best thing for me? I got to know myself on such a deep level and had the time and capacity to really think about who I was, what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I realised that I was going to university for the social side. Not for the career choice. Around this time I met my now best friend, who, within a month we had deferred university to work and travel to New York. Long story short, I travelled more, found an apprenticeship that gave me the ability to give me experience in something I love, and set up my own business (with the help of my talented mum!) and can now live beyond that 9-5 working life as I knew it wasn’t for me.
I know a lot if it sounds easier said than done, and that based on circumstances, life situations, etc, it may not feel like it’s possible. I am only 22 and I know that there are many more obstacles that will come my way - and choices I will have to make.
I have learnt though that many people are in jobs they can’t stand and lifestyles that they wish they could change - and this is all down to them following that expected path in life, when deep down they know it wasn’t for them.
Life is busy, and we are always on the go. But if you can get to know yourself on that deep level - evaluate to your deepest desire who you are and what you want, then change is still possible, and you can find ways to reach the life you always wanted.
It is easy to follow societal ‘rules’, but the minute you break away from that and learn to live by your own wants and needs, then you really do become a happier person!
