3 mins read
I believe that the greatest love of all is self love. But in today’s world, the term “self love” is used very loosely, and we forget what it really means. So lets remind ourselve of the meaning of this type of love, and start overcome those self-deprecating habits which keep us from finding it. In the Bilble, we are reminded in no uncertain terms, that our bodies are temples to be respected and cared for with the reverence of a holy place. This is the same in other holy scriptures and wise philosphies who reference the importance of genuine love
This quote by E Mbianka is so true, “No other love, no matter how genuine it is, can fulfill one’s heart better than unconditional self-love.” And it was Budha who said “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”.
These quotes ring so true to me! I certainly feel more able to express and receive love, now that I strive to overcome those habits that keep me from loving myself. Here are the top 3 you too can watch out for and overcome:
Setting Unrealistic Goals:
Setting overly ambitious goals often leads to disappointment and self-criticism. This was my reality until I adopted the “SMART” technique—a method you might recognize from professional settings. By aligning my personal goals with this framework, I created opportunities for success and minimised “setting myself up to fail”. When setting goals, ask yourself if they are Sustainable, Measurable, Realistic, Achievable, and Time-framed. Realistic goals keep you on track toward self-improvement and fullfilment.
Self-Punishment:
We’ve all felt disappointed when things don’t go as planned. In the past, I would really go hard on myself, offer little or no respite from my self-judgement! Nowadays, Instead of punishing myself, I now reward myself with small treats, like a rest day or a gift of flowers. The point is that you should not kick yourself when you are already down! So next time you feel low, treat yourself with a “gift-to-self”. My favourite is warm cup of organic coffee in my favourite comfort mug! snuggled under a blanket and watching “Bing Bang Theory”
Silencing the Inner Critic:
That inner voice that says, “You’re not good enough,” needs to be replaced with a kinder, more encouraging one. Imagine how you would speak to a loved friend or colleague—with kindness and support, right? I’ve learned to speak kindly to myself, especially during tough times. So from now on, anytime that voice starts to bring you down, acknowledge it..then shut it up, girl! Then go ahead and say something to yourself that brings you comfort, not more pain.
Like all bad habits, these can be tough to get rid of, and we may need extra help from people around us, or sometimes professional help from a coach who truly empathises with you.
True Self-Love involves nurturing yourself during challenging times, being your own best friend, and offering yourself the kindness and grace you deserve. And it is worth pursuing it…because overcoming these habits that keep us from the greatest love of all is, for the most part, within our control!
—Chinwe 🌸—
